My Addiction
by Rivermoon1970
Summary: Aaron Hotchner knows he has a problem, an addiction, in fact and that addiction is named Spencer Reid. Is there more to their relationship? Or is it just physical? And if he doesn't figure it out, he thinks it might just destroy him. A series of trabbles. Non-explicit slash. Story is told in 200 - 300 word chapters.
1. Addiction

**_A/N _****So this started out as just a slightly longer drabble. But, now it's a bit of an experiment. I am going to tell the whole story of the Spencer/Aaron relationship though these short burst of musings, insights, whatever you want to call them. Each chapter will be only 200-300 words. We'll see how it goes. If you guys like it please let me know. Thank you so very much.**

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><p><em>Your silence gives consent<em> - Plato

Aaron Hotchner was standing at the window to his office looking down at the street laid out before him, paperwork temporarily forgotten. He was thinking about the turn of events in the last few weeks of his life. His hands wander over his chest and arms, stopping where he knew the bruises and bite marks lay. He reflects back on the evening before and he asked himself, why? _I let it happen again, why?_ It had been so long since someone had touched him that it felt so good. He wasn't sure when things got…darker and he wasn't sure when it became his addiction.

There was a knock at his office door and without turning around he said, "Come in".

Spencer walked in and saw his boss standing there at the window, "Aaron…"

Aaron turned around and looked at the young genius, "Yes Reid?"

Spencer cleared his throat, "If you want my resignation…"

Aaron looked at Spencer for a long time, "No". Was all he said, he then turned around and went back to looking out the window. He didn't hear when Spencer left and he knew he'd be back in Spencer's bed, he just didn't know how much of him would be left.


	2. Silence

He had tried to stay away but he couldn't. The case they had just finished was too much. _Children, why children_? It's a question he always asked, but the answer never came. He knocked on the door and without a word Spencer let him in. They don't say a word and again Aaron falls into bed with the young agent. This secret that they share is both terrifying and intoxicating. They knew they could lose their jobs, both of them, even though it was Spencer who initiated it. Aaron was complicit and for now he was unwilling or maybe unable to stop this affair.

He let it happen again, let Spencer take all the control, let his lover do whatever he wanted and there was a type of freeing and maybe, just maybe that's what this was about. Aaron giving up control to someone else, letting them make the decisions, even if this was just sex, or was it? Does he have feelings for Spencer? Does Spencer have feeling for him? He doesn't know because they never talk, it's always like this, silence except for the involuntary noises that are pulled out of him. He's blindfolded this time and the fear thrills him. Maybe this was why he comes back.


	3. Beginning

A/N, Guest, thank you for your review. Yes it is a bit OOC, but if you read this right, does Spencer truly have control? Or did Aaron freely give it to him?

Thank you so much for the likes and reviews. I know this is a little different from my other writings, but like I said, it's an experiment so every chapter will be concentrated down to the barest of thoughts and feelings.

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><p>Aaron and Spencer had been having movie nights shortly after Maeve's death. The two found a deep camaraderie in losing someone they loved. Aaron was trying to help the young man come to terms with his loss. Now months later he noticed Spencer trying to move on, which could sometimes be as paralyzing, he should know, it's what happened to him after Haley's death.<p>

Jack was at a friend's house for a sleepover and they were alone. Their routine was each week one of them would pick out a movie and they had to watch, no matter what it was. This night Spencer, who started an unspoken contest of pushing each other's boundaries, had chosen _My Beautiful Laundrette, _an obscure 1980's British drama.

At the end of it Spencer asked, "What did you think?"

"It was interesting and very thought provoking. I liked the conflict in Omar and Johnny's relationship".

Spencer smiled, but there was something behind it, something…wicked. Aaron was taken completely by surprise when Spencer crawled in his lap and kissed him. At first he didn't respond, was too startled, then he felt Spencer's hands on his flesh and it felt…so, so good.

"I want you Aaron, I always have…I'll make it good, make us both feel so good," And just like that Spencer pushed him down on the couch and took what he wanted. The problem was Aaron didn't fight him.


	4. Plane

The first time it happened Aaron thought he was going to throttle Spencer. They were sitting next to each other at the back of the plane going over victimology.

"So, what do these victims all have in common?" As Aaron asked the team Reid's hand had wandered and rested on Aaron's inner thigh. Then his nails dug in. Aaron swallowed hard and gave Reid a sterner than normal look. However good it felt they were in the middle of a case. Aaron wasn't sure what game Reid was playing, but this was going too far.

The look that passed between them didn't go unnoticed by Morgan or Rossi. They looked at each other and gave an almost imperceptible shrug. They knew something was going on with their Unit Chief, but not even Dave was brave enough right now to broach the subject. JJ and Alex were too pre-occupied with the case files to notice the exchange.

The second time it happened they were flying back after finishing up with the case. Hotch was in the kitchenette getting some coffee when Spencer came up behind him and dug his fingers in Aaron's hip. Aaron rounded on him and saw the dark wicked expression on Spencer's face.

In a quiet voice, so as not to wake the rest of the occupants of the plane, Aaron said, "Reid, you need to stop that".

"Aaron do you really want me to?" Spencer asked as he backed the older man up in the small space. The curtain was closed so no one could see what was going on. Spencer leaned down and kissed Aaron, biting his lower lip in the process. He pulled away after a moment, smiled and walked back to his seat. Aaron stood there mind reeling not really knowing the answer.


	5. Rossi

Dave didn't even knock. He barged into Aaron's office, closed the door behind him and sat down in one of the chairs in front of his friend's desk.

"Aaron, what's going on with you?"

Aaron narrowed his eyes and glared at his best friend, "What do you mean Dave?"

"You and Spencer. Something you want or need to tell me?"

"Nothing is going on Dave…"

"Aaron, I've known you too long and I know when you're lying".

"Dave, I don't really want to talk about this with you".

"So something is going on".

Aaron was silent. He didn't want Dave to know about his relationship with Spencer. He wouldn't understand. Hell he still didn't understand. All he knew was this need. This soul-searing, bone deep need. He knew it was changing him, but he also didn't want it to end. Not yet at least. His addiction to Spencer was getting stronger.

"Aaron, you're my friend, if you need help…"

Aaron put up his hand to stop Dave, "I'm fine Dave, I don't need any help".

"Keep telling yourself that Aaron, but when you're ready to talk, I'll be here". Dave left, worried about what his best friend had gotten himself into.

Later that night lying in Spencer's arms he let hidden silent tears fall.


	6. Talk

Aaron knew he had to talk to Spencer. Their affair had been going on for over six months now and he was falling deeper and deeper into the strange twisted relationship. Jack was at a friend's birthday campout for the weekend so he knew it had to be now, if not he knew he'd lose his nerve and things would continue as they were.

They had dinner together, but Spencer noticed Aaron was unusually quiet.

"Aaron," He asked looking at his boss and lover.

Aaron sighed, raised his head and looked at Spencer, "Yes, Spencer?"

Reid frowned, "You okay?"

Aaron pushed his plate away, sat back in the chair and contemplated what he was going to say. "No, actually, I'm not".

"Have I done something wrong?" Aaron was confused, Spencer actually sounded genuinely concerned.

"Spencer, you've done everything wrong and I've let you. I let you be in control and now I feel like everything is out of control. You tease, you push boundaries and I…"

"You what Aaron?" Spencer frowned had he missed something? He thought Aaron liked their relationship as it was.

Aaron's heart was beating too fast, "I think…I think we need to end this Spencer. If not, it's…it's going to…" Aaron got quiet. He didn't know how to say what he needed to say.

Spencer moved to sit next to Aaron, "Going to what?" Spencer was scared. His feelings had become complicated and tangled up when it came to Aaron. What started out simple no longer was.

"I think it will destroy me Spencer".

"What? Why, why would it destroy you?" Now Spencer was truly afraid.

"Because…"

"Because, what?" Spencer was getting agitated and upset.

"I think I love you, and I think you've ruined me for anyone else". There he finally said it.


	7. Aftermath

**I am actually pretty impressed by the review and likes I have gotten for this story. I honestly didn't think people were going to read, but I am glad I took the chance. Thank you to everyone who has read, favorited, reviewed followed this little experiment. It's become not only a personal challenge, but I am quite proud of it. So, again, thank you all.**

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><p>Aaron still couldn't believe Spencer had just left. He didn't say anything after Aaron's confession. He had gotten up grabbed his satchel and left.<p>

They played professional, but the others took notice of their strained relationship. "We need to talk," Aaron had called Spencer to his office.

"I know, but not here". Aaron could see Spencer's frustration. "Um, do you want to come to my place?"

"I'll be there around 8:00" Spencer heard the dismissal in Aaron's voice.

Aaron arrived a little after 8:00 and when he walked in Spencer slammed him against the wall and started to kiss him. Aaron put his hands on Spencer's chest and said, "No".

Spencer pulled back, "Aaron, that's why you're here, isn't it?"

"No Spencer, we need to talk".

Spencer stalked off to his living room, "Fine, what do you want to talk about?"

Aaron was angry and he let it show, "I told you how I felt and you left, Spencer, you just left". He was breathing hard waiting for the genius to answer.

"Aaron, I…I can't…I can't tell you what you want". Spencer looked like he wanted to cry. This was too much, too much like Maeve, but he couldn't tell Aaron that.

"Goodbye Spencer". Aaron turned around and walked out the door.


	8. Leave

The team was gathered in the conference room and they noticed Hotch was missing.

"Before we get started I have an announcement," Rossi took a deep breath before he spoke again, "Aaron has taken a short leave of absence," He said gravely, sliding a dark look over at Spencer.

"What? Why? Rossi, what's going on?" Morgan asked.

"I don't know Derek, but Strauss made me Acting Unit Chief till he gets back".

"How long is he going to be gone?" JJ sounded deeply concerned.

"He has a lot of accumulated vacation time so I'm not sure JJ. Now, let's get back to this case". Rossi effectively cut off any more questions.

After the team broke-up Rossi stopped Reid from leaving the conference room, "What's going on kid?"

Spencer frowned deeply, "I don't know what you're talking about".

Dave was trying to keep his temper in check, "Something has been going on between you and Aaron and now he's taken a sudden leave. You wanna tell me why?"

"I don't know, nothing is going on between me and Hotch. Now, don't we have a case to get to?" Spencer stared back at Rossi.

"Fine, but if he's hurt because of you, kid there won't be any place for you to hide". Rossi was angry because his friend was obviously hurting and Spencer was obviously the cause, but neither man was talking.

They stared each other down for what seemed like a long time and Reid understood the unspoken threat. He gathered his things, still gave no explanation, and headed out towards the plane.


	9. Therapy

Spencer couldn't take it anymore. It had been a month since Aaron's leave and he missed the older man. He was agitated and upset and knew that it was mostly his fault that Aaron wasn't there.

Aaron was playing a game with Jack when he heard the knock on the door. An angry look crossed his face when he saw who was standing there, "Spencer. What are you doing here?"

Jack heard Spencer's name and ran to the door, "Uncle Spencer!" He yelled exuberantly and threw his arms around the young agent's waist.

Spencer moved past the door and lowered himself to the ground and gave the 9 year old a tight hug. Aaron wasn't the only one he missed.

"Jack, Spencer and I have to talk can you go to your room for a little bit buddy?"

Jack smiled, "Okay Dad," Aaron watched as the boy made his way to his room and smiled. As soon as Jack was out of earshot he turned back to Spencer, "What are you doing here?"

"I've missed you Aaron".

Aaron closed his eyes for a minute, "Spencer, please…"

"Where have you been?"

Aaron stared at Spencer and decided to tell him the truth, "In therapy".

"What? Why?"

"You have to ask why? To deal with us, this," Aaron waived a hand between them. "You left me Spencer. I told you how I felt and you left. I gave you a chance and you still didn't say anything. I need to get past you," Spencer could see just what this was costing Aaron to admit these feelings.

"Aaron…" Why couldn't he say it? Why couldn't he have the same courage?

"Spencer, I suggest you do the same".

"The same what?"

"Therapy. Now, I have to get back to my son. Goodbye Spencer".


	10. Dilauded

Spencer was curled up on his couch staring at a bottle of dilauded. It was one he had bought after Maeve's death. He never broke his sobriety then, but now he was more tempted than he'd ever been in his life. What started out simple, what started out as just sex, or was it? Did he actually have feelings for Aaron? Was that why this hurt so much? Had he lost love…wait love? Did he love Aaron? Love…Aaron? Was it possible, had he fallen in love again? Had he just lost his chance? He stared at _it_, his personal demon. Had he replaced his addiction? Was Aaron his new addiction? Why were these questions running circular in his brain?

He stared at the demon. Aaron loved him. Aaron loved him. Why couldn't he get those words out of his head? He hadn't eaten much, barely slept and he knew his teammates were getting worried. Except for Rossi who was angry at him and Spencer didn't blame the man. He _had_hurt Aaron. Aaron. Aaron loved him. Aaron loved him. Why didn't he say it back?

He stared at the demon, his heart was beating too fast, his hands were shaking and he knew what the release would feel like. But he knew also what the crash would be like. He hadn't been taking care of himself and his headaches were back. The pain was blinding, but he needed it. The physical pain blocked out the terrible pain in his heart.

He stared at the demon, wishing it would go away, wishing he could take it with no consequences, wishing Georgia never happened. He felt like he was going crazy. He laid his head on his knees and cried.

He stared at the demon. Aaron loved him. Aaron…loved…him.


	11. Team

The team knew something was wrong. Something was broken, Aaron was still gone and Spencer, though he didn't falter in his job, was a walking ghost. Everyone could see the dark circles under his eyes and the thinness of his body.

"Morgan, you don't think…" None of them wanted to say it. Morgan, JJ and Alex were in Garcia's office.

"No, I don't think it's that Jayje, but there is something he is not talking about".

"Morgan, this is how he was after Maeve. You don't think this has something to do with Aaron do you?"

Alex spoke-up, "The timing is too coincidental. I know I have only been here a few months but I've noticed how close they are. Was it always like that?"

"Yes, Aaron stepped in after Gideon left and kind of took over as mentor, but there was always this closeness".

"Do you think the baskets will help? They helped before…" Garcia looked at her friends, hopeful.

JJ knew how much Garcia wore her heart on her sleeve, "No Penny, I don't think that will help this time". All of them were at a loss. They knew that for Aaron to be gone this long that he was hurting too, they just didn't know from what.

"You don't think they were…." Alex didn't want to presume, but from what she'd seen it was possible.

"What Alex?" Jj asked.

"You don't think they…may have been _together_, do you?"

"Like a relationship?" Garcia's eyes widened because that's exactly what she was thinking.

"It's possible, there was always something more there, but they were always professional. Maybe both of them losing someone they loved, they turned to each other". JJ speculated and somehow they all felt the truth in that.


	12. JJ

JJ didn't know if she should try to talk to Spencer. They'd been distant since she came back. All of the lies and half-truths had damaged the special bond that they had, but she saw her friend was hurting. She saw that he wasn't eating and that he was living on coffee. She saw the pain in his eyes and knew the headaches were back. So, after the teams talk she decided to confront him. She knocked on his door and hoped he would answer.

He opened the door and saw his once best friend standing there, "JJ, what are you doing here?'

"Spence, I'm worried about you. You're drinking too much coffee and you're obviously not sleeping or eating, what's going on with you?"

"JJ, I'm fine, okay, I've just…" JJ didn't believe him and she barged into his apartment. It was a mess, almost like it had been after Maeve. She saw the bottle on the coffee table and became angry.

"Do not tell me you've been using again Spencer Reid". The fire in her eyes actually had him stepping back.

"NO, god no JJ…"

"_Then why do you have this_?" She yelled

"_I don't know_, I don't know Jayje," He sank to the floor and cried.

"Spence?" She gathered him in her arms and held on, "Tell me Spence".

"JJ," He choked on a sob, "I…I think, I think I love someone, but I didn't tell him, and now I've lost him and it's killing me".

So the team's suspicions were true about him and Aaron. "Spence look at me," He looked up into her eyes, "Do you know if he loves you?" Spencer nodded his head yes, "Then you need to tell him. You need to pull yourself together and tell Aaron how you feel".


	13. Truths

It was the second month into Hotch's leave, and Dave didn't know when his friend was coming back. He was trying to give Hotch distance, but if this didn't end soon he was going over there and demand some answers.

Spencer knew it was time, time to try to put into words his feelings. He was scared to go up to the apartment. Scared he'd be rejected again. He gathered his courage and made his way to Aaron's apartment and knocked on the door.

Aaron knew it was Spencer and when he opened the door he sighed in resignation and waived the young man in, "Spencer, why are you here?"

Spencer rushed in and the words came pouring out, "I got scared Aaron, I got scared and I ran. I ran because I saw Maeve all over again, only this time it was you that Diane was holding a gun too. Our jobs put us in danger all the time and I…I don't think I could handle it if I lost you too," He took a deep breath, eyes wet with unshed tears, "And now, I've done it again, I didn't say it to you just like I didn't say it to her. I think I believed that if I didn't say it then this wouldn't be real and I could move on too, but Aaron I can't, I can't move on and it's…I think it's killing me".

Aaron looked at Spencer and saw the dark circles under his eyes, the thinness of his body. He walked over and laid a hand on Spencer's cheek, "I'm not going anywhere and you still have a chance to say it, but only if you really mean it Spencer".

Spencer's breath was shallow and his heart was racing, "I love you too Aaron".


	14. Sex

Aaron took control this time and it felt right, for the first time in this relationship something felt right. He backed the younger man against the wall, lips possessing, taking and leaving a trail of want and need singing all throughout Spencer's body.

By the time they got to the bedroom all clothes had been shed and Aaron continued his assault on his lover. His goal was to make Spencer feel as undone as he had felt. To feel possessed, to feel what it was like to be taken, to have the control out of his hands. And from the appreciative noises that the young agent was making, Aaron was succeeding in his goal. By the time he entered his lover his passion consumed him and in turn, consumed Spencer.

Aaron watched as the young genius was torn apart by ecstasy, watched as Spencer's eyes darkened and lost focus, watched the ultimate undoing of the man beneath him. Aaron's power and control were taken back in that moment. And when his demon was finally satisfied he fell on top of Spencer, holding him there, "That was what you made me feel Spencer," he whispered as his lips softly made contact with Spencer's**. **

"Aaron, you never told me. Why?" He asked after he got his breath back, after the raging storm caused by Aaron had settled.

"Because, at the time, I didn't want to stop, but it was hurting me Spencer and I didn't realize it, not till recently".

"Aaron?"

"Yes?"

"Do you really want this? Us?" Spencer asked with hope in his eyes.

"Yes, I want this. I love you".

Spencer closed his eyes to school the flood of emotions, "I love you too". They wrapped around each other and fell deep asleep, both happy for the first time.


	15. Jack

"Jack, can you come out here please?" Jack ran out to the living room and saw his Dad and Uncle Spencer sitting together on the couch. It looked serious and it scared the young boy.

"Daddy?" He asked with apprehension in his voice.

"Hey buddy, its okay, come here, Spencer and I want to ask you something".

"What is it?"

"Well, how would you like it if Spencer came to live with us?"

Jack furrowed his brow thinking that they only had two bedrooms and he wasn't sure where his Uncle Spencer would sleep. "But Daddy, where is he going to sleep?" He asked with the seriousness that was so uniquely Aaron that Spencer had to smile inwardly. And, not for the first time he thought that Jack may resemble Haley, but in truth the boy was all Aaron.

"Well, that's what we wanted to talk about. Spencer would be sleeping in Daddy's room. Are you okay with that?"

Jack thought about it for a minute, "Daddy?" he asked with that same serious tone.

"Yeah buddy?"

"Is Uncle Spencer your boyfriend?" Aaron smiled at how matter-of-fact his son was.

"I don't know, Uncle Spencer, am I your boyfriend?" Aaron asked teasingly.

Spencer was a little flustered because he wasn't used to Jack's frankness. "Well, only if your Dad wants me to be. Do you…want me to be?"

Aaron smiled the warm genuine dimple showing smile that always set Spencer's heart racing. "Yes Spencer I want you to be".

"Yay," Jack yelled enthusiastically and jumped into Spencer's arms.

"So, you're okay with this Jack-Jack?"

"Yes Daddy. You smile more when Spencer is here".

Aaron looked at his son and wondered when he got so perceptive.

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><p><strong>AN: **So, some readers thought that the last chapter was the ending to this fic, but it's not. I have loads more chapters that are snippets of their life together. Do you want me to continue their story? Le me know. 


	16. Beth

A couple of weeks later Spencer moved in. Aaron used the remaining time of his leave to help him. It came as a shock when there was a knock at the door because they weren't expecting anyone.

When Aaron opened the door there stood Beth, the woman he was _supposed _to be seeing. "Beth, what are you doing here?" He hadn't heard from her in the few months she'd been in California overseeing the transfer of some art from her museum to the Norton Simon in Pasadena.

She smiled, "I thought I'd come by to let you know I'll be back in New York".

Just then Spencer came around the corner, "Beth…" His eyes widened and he swallowed hard, "I'll just be in Jack's room". He did not want to be there for this conversation.

"Aaron, what's going on?"

"I was trying to call you, but you haven't returned my phone calls. Beth…" He closed his eyes, he knew he was going to hurt her, and he hadn't wanted to. He had come to realize that she had been a rebound relationship. He cared deeply for her, but he didn't love her, not like he loved Spencer.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you anyway, I ah, just wanted to tell you I'm accepting a Directorship of a museum in Hong Kong. It's ah, it's a great opportunity…" She had gotten the offer of the post but originally turned it down because she thought her and Aaron were going somewhere, but now….

"Beth…"

"No, don't say anything else Aaron, I hope you're happy". She turned and ran out of there, tears streaming down her face.


	17. Return

Aaron was back and the rest of the team breathed a sigh of relief. The first case they handled after Hotch's return they noticed how much more in control their Unit Chief was. They all knew how private Aaron was so no one asked about why he was gone, all except Dave.

Aaron was paired-up with Dave as they went to the ME's office, "So, you want to tell me what's been going on or am I going to have to stalk you to find out?" Dave half-joked.

"Do you really want to talk about this now?"  
>"You don't seem to want to talk about it at all Aaron and I'm just concerned. You're my best friend and I care".<p>

Aaron took a deep breath and looked to the side at Dave and told him the truth, "I'm in a relationship with Spencer…"

"I thought something was going on between the two of you".

"It became…complicated".

"How complicated?"

Aaron quirked up a brow, "Dave, there are just some things you are better off not knowing".

"Okay, but what about Beth?"

"She had been in California for all those months, only sporadic phone calls. When she came back she…"

"She what?"

"She walked in on Spencer moving in". He let the other bomb drop.

"And were you ever going to tell me that little bombshell?"

"Maybe, eventually".

Dave just shook his head and didn't press it, "So what happened?"

"She told me she decided to take a position at a museum in Hong Kong. She wished me luck and she left".

"Just tell me one thing, and I'll butt out…Are you happy Aaron?"

He looked at Dave and said with a genuine smile on his face, "Yes, Dave I am".

"Then that's all I need to know".


	18. Sean

**A/N: **I just want to say a quick thank you to everyone that has followed, favorited and reviewed. I want to thank all you guests for reviewing and following this story. I really appreciate all the feedback and that you guys are liking what I'm doing with this every word of encouragement is very much appreciated.

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><p>Aaron, Reid and Jack were spending a rare quiet Sunday together watching movies, playing games and reading. The knock on the door came as a surprise and Aaron got up to answer it. When he saw who was standing there he was shocked.<p>

"Sean, what are you doing here?" He hadn't heard that his brother had been released from prison.

"Well, big bro I got out a couple days ago. Good behavior and all that. I wanted to come by and surprise you".

"Um, well come in," The brothers tentatively embraced.

"Uncle Sean," Yelled Jack as he ran to his uncle and jumped in his arms.

"Hey little man, how are you?"

"I'm good Uncle Sean. Did you know that Uncle Spencer moved in with us and that he's daddy's…"

"Okay buddy I think that's enough for now, why don't you go read in your room for a little bit, okay?"

"Uhhh, Aaron?" Sean had a questioning look on his face.

"What Jack said is true. Spencer has moved in with me, us".

"Soooo, you two are….together?"

Aaron smirked, "Yes, we are together".

"Well, okay," He looked over at the quiet man on the couch, "Hello again Spencer".

"Sean," Reid said a little stiffly.

Sean pulled his brother into the kitchen for some privacy, "Aaron, when did that happen? And…well, I don't know how to ask this…"

Aaron sighed, "We've been seeing each other almost 10 months now, and if you're asking if I'm gay, I'm actually bisexual".

"Wow, does, you know, Mom know?"

Aaron's face darkened and he had a hard edge to his voice when he answered his brother, "No and you aren't going to tell her".

"Okay, okay but I wish you'd tell me why".

"Sean, there are some things you are better off not knowing".


	19. Reveal

The team was having dinner at a quiet restaurant. They wanted to get away from the station and get their minds off their current case. Sometimes going at it too hard caused stumbling blocks and that's why Hotch was such a hard ass about food and rest. He was sitting next to Spencer and gave him a look that said he was going to tell the team about them. Spencer sat up straighter and tried not to look at anyone.

"I have something to tell all of you". Hotch cleared his throat, took a sip of his drink to steel his nerves. They all looked to him expectantly, waiting for whatever he was going to tell them. "And I need all of you to keep this between us". He looked at Spencer and smiled warmly, "Spencer and I are in a relationship, and he's moved in with me".

"Well, finally. We wondered when you were finally going to let us in on your secret". Morgan joked. He smiled and lifted his glass, "Congratulations".

"You guys already knew?" Spencer looked around confused.

"It didn't take a profiler to see something was going on, and watching you two around each other for the last few months we started to put two and two together". Alex laid a hand on Spencer's arm, "Are you happy?" She knew how hard it had been for him after Maeve's death, for him to find love again was something she had hoped for.

Spencer slowly smiled and looked at Hotch, "Yes Alex, I am".

Alex looked over at Hotch and didn't need to ask, but she did anyway, "And you Hotch?"

He smiled his real dimple revealing smile and said, "Yes Alex, I am very happy". And that right there was all they needed to know.


	20. Texas

**A/N: **I know this chapter is slightly vague, but if you've seen Demons you'll understand.

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><p>Hotch was in the kitchenette of the plane getting some more coffee when Garcia walked in. He stopped what he was doing and turned to her, "Garcia," he took a breath because he didn't know how to tell her how grateful he was. His normal stoic mask slipped a little and his emotions leaked through.<p>

"Oh, bossman, you don't have to say anything". She laid a hand on his arm.

"I don't know…" He looked up and off to the side trying to regain his composure. He and Spencer hadn't told Cruz about their relationship yet, so he was trying to keep it together.

"Sir?"

"Penny, if you hadn't done what you did, I don't know…" She knew what he was trying to say.

"Hotch, don't, he's still here, just remember that, okay?" She gathered him into her arms and hugged him.

After a couple of seconds he hugged her back and whispered in her ear, "Thank you".

She smiled, "Anytime, well not really anytime, I mean I don't really want to do that again, but you know if I ever had to because one of my babies was in danger than I would…sorry, I'm rambling aren't I?"

Hotch laughed slightly and laid a hand on her shoulder, "Penelope, I never want you to have to do that again, but I can't say that I'm sorry you did it this time". He swallowed the lump in his throat as he made his way to the seat directly across from where Spencer was sleeping.

"Hotch," Morgan looked at his unit chief, "He'll be fine, it's not the same, okay?" Morgan knew exactly where his boss's thoughts had gone and he was trying to get Hotch out of his head.

Aaron breathed deeply nodded and said, "Thank you Morgan".


	21. Promises

Rossi thought it was a good idea to have the team over for some good homemade Italian food, wine and some re-bonding. The events in Texas had shaken them, Aaron and Reid especially. Aaron almost lost another important person to him and he did lose a valuable team member and friend. Reid lost another mentor. So, being the mother hen he got everyone to the house and he was glad of it. Family needed reconnecting and reassuring, especially Aaron and Spencer.

As they were sitting around the large family table Aaron was pulling something out of his pocket. He had something special for Spencer and he wanted to do it now. As conversation lulled he turned and looked at his partner.

"Spencer,"

"Yes, Aaron," Eyes bright from laughter, good food and wine, he smiled crookedly and Aaron's heart stopped.

He pulled out the box and set it on the table, "Spencer, I know we talked about marriage, but neither of us wants that, but I wanted…" Aaron was nervous, "After recent events it cemented how much I love you. I want us to wear these as a promise, a promise that I'll never leave you, I'll try my hardest not to hurt you and I'll always do my best to protect you. After Haley…" He choked on his words, "When I saw you…" It was becoming harder to find the words and he couldn't hold back the tears.

Spencer didn't care that everyone was watching, laid a hand on Aaron's cheek, "I know, Aaron, I know. And I know what it cost you to keep going. I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere. I'll wear your promise because I love you". He leaned over and kissed his partner, his lover as their family cheered them on.


	22. Cruz

**A/N; **Because I love you all so very much, here is a present, a bonus chapter for Valentine's Day. I hope you enjoy.

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><p>Spencer and Aaron had talked about telling Cruz about their relationship. They knew they needed to. They just hoped that the consequences weren't too steep. They decided to do it shortly after the disastrous case in Texas.<p>

They both gathered their courage as Aaron knocked on Cruz's door.

"Come in," Cruz had his head down and was finishing a report when he looked up and saw who was standing there. He slowly smiled and stood up, "Aaron, Dr. Reid, come in and sit".

"Matt, we wanted to talk to you…"

Cruz held up his hand and stopped him, "Aaron, I already know and to be honest I don't really care. Whatever you two do in your private lives is just that private. You've never been anything other than professional".

Spencer looked confused, they'd been so careful in the office, "How'd you…"

"Do you really think I was that blind in Texas? When you were shot Dr. Reid I thought Aaron was going to tear someone apart. And when he had to keep going, it was on frayed nerves. I noticed but I wanted to let you guys come to me".

"So, you aren't going to report…"

Cruz held up a hand and looked at two of his best agents and smiled, "Report what?"

Aaron smiled and shook his head, "Matt, you know you could get into trouble too".

"Ah, but you didn't actually tell me anything and I didn't actually confirm or deny anything so there is nothing to report, do we understand each other?"

Spencer smiled crookedly, "Plausible deniability," Was all he said as he looked at their section chief.

"Exactly," Matt exclaimed, "Just keep it professional and you won't have any problems".

They both stood up to go and Aaron turned to say, "Thank you Matt".


	23. Adoption

Spencer and Aaron were at the park letting Jack run off some of his excess energy. Spencer was sitting back against Aaron's chest with arms wrapped around him and watched Jack and the other kids. He thought about how he had changed so much when it came to children. He wished sometimes, that he had a child of his own. He sighed longingly while watching the kids play.

Aaron sensed that Spencer was thinking about something and looked down into his lover's face and asked, "What are you thinking about Spencer?"

He breathed deep and slightly shrugged his shoulder. It wasn't something he brought-up with Aaron, but it had been on his mind a lot lately.

"Spencer, tell me, what's going on in that never resting brain of yours," Aaron teased.

"After Maeve I thought…" He took a moment because this was difficult, "I thought I'd have kids".

"Spencer, you have Jack…"

"It's not the same don't get me wrong Aaron, I love him, but he's yours..." He frowned, "Never mind, it's nothing…"

"Spencer, this isn't nothing. Do you…do you want kids Spencer? Please be honest with me".

"Yes, Aaron, I do. But I completely understand…"

"Spencer, I'm not opposed to adoption". Aaron knew it would be hard, but a part him would love to give Jack a sibling.

Spencer sat up and turned to look at Aaron, "Are you sure? It's a huge commitment and I wouldn't ask Jessica…"

"Why don't we look into it, talk to Jack and Jessica then we'll make a decision".

Spencer smiled, "You'd really consider this for me, for us?"

"Yes, Dr. Reid, I would consider this because I love you".

Spencer smiled wide, turned back around and laid back against Aaron's chest and said, "Thank you, and I love you too".


	24. Kate

Spencer and Kate were walking the crash site when she told Spencer about her sister and brother-in-law being killed in 911. Spencer contemplated what he wanted to say to her back. He initially hadn't wanted to like her, change was always difficult for Spencer, but he found he very much liked the new addition to the team.

"My girlfriend was killed in front of me".

Kate stopped, and turned to look at the young genius, "I'm so sorry. That must have been terrible for you. Is that whose ring you wear?"

Spencer smiled as he looked at the ring that Aaron had given him just a couple of months ago. "Actually no, and I'm surprised no one has told you…" He had a mischievous glint in his eye.

She frowned as she looked at Spencer, "Told me what?"

He took a deep breath. It was one thing to tell the team, people he'd known and trusted for years, but Kate he was just getting to know. "Its umm, its Aaron's…" He waited for her reaction.

"Oh," She looked at Spencer's raised brows and smile, "Ohhh, so you two are…together?" She asked with a smile.

"Yes, we are. It's been a little over a year, though everyone teased that we always had this…tension between us".

"Well, I pretty much figured out you were close. I just didn't know it was that close. Just how do you keep it so quiet?"

"At work we keep it professional. Cruz 'knows' but he's not going to say anything. We ah, we live together".

"Spencer, if you think this shocks me, it doesn't. This job is hard enough not having someone makes it harder. If you're happy that's all that counts".

He smiled, "Kate, I'm very happy".

"Then that's all that matters".


	25. Sarah Jane

**A/N: **Before you ask, yes this is a shameless nod to Doctor Who for those that caught on to the name.

Also, I am taking word prompts is anyone wants to see me play off a particular word let me know.

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><p>They spent weeks researching the possibility of adoption. They talked to Jack and he was thrilled with the possibility. Jessica, who adored Aaron and Spencer, said she would be more than willing to help out. When they finally decided to try to pursue they both agreed they didn't want a baby. In their work they saw too many children abandoned and left behind so they wanted to give one of those kids a chance. When their social worker called about a little 6 year old girl named Sarah Jane, Spencer thought it was serendipity.<p>

"Aaron, I just want to make sure…you really want this?" Spencer looked at his lover with eyes too bright and anxiety in his every movement.

Aaron laid his hands on Spencer's shoulders, "Spencer, for the hundredth time, yes I want this. I want this for you, for us and for Jack". He smiled and Spencer finally settled.

They walked into the group home that the little girl was staying at and were immediately greeted by Mrs. Mullins, the social worker. They were shown to a family room where the little girl was sitting on the couch with her head down.

Mrs. Mullins started to introduce them when the two profilers held up their hands. Spencer sat on the floor in front of the little girl and proceeded to charm her with his magic tricks. In no time at all she looked into Spencer's face and smiled. That's when he knew, he just knew that she was meant for them.

They went back every night to spend time with Sarah Jane, even bringing Jack along. And when it came upon two weeks later, they easily made their decision.

Sarah Jane Cuthbert, became Sarah Jane Reid-Hotchner and at the same time Spencer officially adopted Jack as well.


	26. Nightmares

Spencer and Aaron were woken-up by high-pitched screaming. They knew that Sarah Jane had suffered emotional trauma and they were prepared when the nightmares finally hit the little girl. Her father had killed her mother and brother. The police had gotten to the house before Sarah Jane became his next victim.

Spencer laid a gentle hand on Sarah's chest urging her to wake up. When she did she launched into his arms and cried. He took her into his room and placed her between him and Aaron.

"Papa, wa…was…my… Daddy… a bad…man?" She asked between hiccups.

Spencer looked over at Aaron and they both sighed. How do you explain to a child that their father had a psychotic break? Both their hearts were heavy and they just wanted to protect her and make the nightmares go away.

Aaron sat up and gathered her in his arms, and thought 'just like Jack a few short years ago'. When he spoke it was with a quiet reassuring voice.

"Sarah, honey, no, no your Daddy was not a bad man. He was sick and sometimes when people get sick they need help. Your Daddy didn't get the help he needed. I am sure he didn't mean to do the things he did. He loved you very much".

She looked at him skeptical, "How do you know?" Tears still slid down her face.

Aaron reached into his nightstand and pulled out a small box and handed it to her.

"The police told me he had that in his hands when he died". She opened the box and there was a small picture frame with a picture of her and her brother.

Spencer and Aaron held her while she cried herself to sleep and she knew her new daddies would be there to chase away the nightmares.


	27. Secret

Aaron had a secret. A secret he would go to the grave keeping. When he looked in on Jack and Sarah Jane and saw that they were cuddled up with Spencer as he was reading to them he smiled sadly and thought of his secret.

What no one knew, what he would never tell was that Haley and Jack weren't the only ones the Reaper threatened. Aaron never knew how Foyet figured out his feelings for the young man, but he had. When he had opened his wallet and saw Haley's picture with the eye, there was another picture. It was one of Spencer with the birthday hat and a goofy smile on his face. The word "OR" written at the top and the eye as well. When Aaron had heard that Spencer had been shot he thought the worst, he thought Foyet had gotten to him and he panicked. It was only when Emily said that Reid was fine did he settle.

He kept to himself that it wasn't only Haley and Jack he was trying to protect but Spencer as well. When he finally got his hands on the psychopath and beat him to death it wasn't just for Haley. It was the months of fear every time they went in the field and Spencer was out in the open and vulnerable, it was Jack hearing the gunshot that took his Mother away and it was his own pain that so many of his loved ones were threatened by that man.

Aaron watched as Spencer read to their children face animated, hands never still and he fell in love all over again. He knew right in that moment he would go to his grave keeping that secret.


	28. Stars

Jack was sitting on the widow seat looking up at the stars when he heard Sarah Jane stirring in her bed.

"Jackers, why you staring out the window?"

"I'm looking up at the stars," Spencer had started to go in the room to check on them when he felt Aaron holding him back. He put a finger to his lips telling Spencer to be quiet.

Sarah Jane got out of bed and went over to Jack, "Why you looking at stars?"

Jack looked at his little sister for a minute then he pulled her onto his lap, "I lost my mommy when I was little. Dad told me that she is up in the stars looking down on me, watching me. I talk to her every night".

"You do?" The little girl leaned into Jack as his arms came around her, "Jackers?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah SJ?" He had started calling her that and she kind of liked it.

She whispered, "Do you think my mommy and daddy are up there?" Aaron and Spencer could still hear her and both their hearts broke for the little girl.

Jack looked down into her face and saw the silent tears falling. He gently wiped them away as he said, "Maybe your mommy and daddy are up there with my mommy keeping her safe for when we see each other again". He pulled her in tight holding her, comforting her as she cried.

As she calmed down she whispered, "Would it be okay if I talked to my mommy with you?"

Jack looked down at her, placed a kiss on the top of her head, "Yes, every night if you want to". Aaron and Spencer let them be for the time being understanding the comfort they had found in each other.


	29. Houses

Spencer and Aaron knew they needed a bigger place. With the addition of Sarah Jane they needed more room, so they started house hunting. They saw a few they liked, but none that truly caught their eye. They were in the realtor's car, for it was easier for her to just drive them around. Jack was with them this time and he was talking animatedly about the upcoming art fair so no one was paying attention to where the realtor was taking them.

When she stopped the car and they got out Aaron, Jack and Spencer stopped dead in their tracks. Jack's eyes were wide and tears started to form, Aaron was on the verge of a panic attack and Spencer was just angry.

He turned to their realtor and said, "You need to take us to another house immediately"

Ms. Jamison wasn't registering what was happening and turned to Spencer, "Mr. Reid, this house has everything you're looking for and in the price range you specified. It just came on the market and its close to your work and to the chil…"

Spencer stepped up to the woman and said again, "You need to take us to another house. Now". He looked at his partner and saw that Aaron was shutting down and Jack was holding onto his father's waist, crying.

Ms. Jamison saw the look on Spencer's face, "Well, okay if that's what you feel about it, I've got a couple more that you two will just love".

Reid gathered Aaron in his arms, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Aaron I really didn't know". Aaron just nodded as they got back in the car. Spencer sat in back and gathered Jack in his arms as the realtor drove away from the former home of Aaron and Haley Hotchner.


	30. Gideon

The call came to Aaron's line and he looked over at Spencer not knowing how he was going to tell his lover. He put the phone down and tried to calm his own emotions. Telling Spencer was not going to be easy.

"Spencer," Aaron's heart was beating too fast as his own emotions were all over the place.

"Aaron?" He sensed something was really wrong, "What's going on?"

"I need to go to Gideon's cabin…"

Spencer swallowed hard, his breathing was shallow, "What, why?"

Aaron stared at Spencer finding it difficult to say the words he needed to say. "Spencer…" He swallowed hard, "Spencer, it looks like," He took a deep breath, "It looks like Gideon has been murdered. I need to go, do you want me to drive you?"

Spencer sank to the couch, eyes too wide, breathing too shallow, "No, no I'll call Jess…you go…" Tears were already forming and he felt like a piece of him shattered.

"Spencer," Aaron got down on his knees in front of Spencer and placed a hand gently on his cheek, wiping away the tears, "Meet us as soon as you can…"

Jess came quickly and Spencer drove as fast as he dared. He was numb. He sat in his car, not wanting to move, not wanting to go in the cabin because if he did it would mean that it was real. He looked up, slowly got out of the car and made his way inside.

Penelope came up behind him, "Are you sure?"

Aaron looked right at Spencer, "Its him, it's Gideon". Reid turned and ran out Aaron quickly followed behind. He found Spencer next to his car and pulled him into his arms and let the younger man cry. "I'm so sorry Spencer. I'm so, so sorry".


	31. Chess

Hotch stopped at Reid's desk, it was still early and since it was only the two of them he laid a hand on Reid's shoulder, "You didn't come home last night". He looked at the small chessboard and knew. He was trying to give Spencer room to grieve but he knew the man well. Spencer tended to retreat into himself when he was grieving and Aaron noticed he was starting to do that.

He looked away from the chessboard and saw Aaron standing there, "I'm sorry. I just…"

"I know. I miss him too. It was somehow easier to think of him out there, hoping he found his happiness again".

Spencer swallowed and frowned, "I just wish…" He looked at the chessboard and made a move, swung it around and studied it.

"You wish what Spence?" Aaron sadly smiled because he knew what the younger man was going to say.

"I just wish I could've played one more game with him". Spencer looked at the board and tears fell from his eyes.

Aaron saw they were still alone so he pulled a chair around and sat next to Spencer, allowing his lover to lay his head down on Aaron's shoulder. "I know Spencer". Aaron smiled "I wish I could argue with him one more time". Aaron had a hand carded in Spencer's hair and he kissed the top of his head.

Neither man was aware of when Rossi walked in. He stood back and watched the two men comforting each other. He knew they both were still grieving, knew how they both saw Gideon as a surrogate father. Spencer wore his grief on his sleeve, but Aaron bottled it up and let that stoic nature take over. So, he was secretly glad they had each other to help get through this.


	32. Bullies

"Sarah Jane, why did you hit those other girls?" Spencer asked in a calm quiet manner.

"They were being bullies Papa. They said I was a baby and I couldn't really read The Hobbit, said I was making it up. They took my book away and threw it around. Mrs. Harlen didn't even do anything about it". She continued pouting.

Aaron saw Spencer's back go up and an equally defiant look in his eye. When it came to any type of bullying he always had to watch the young agent. He put a hand on Spencer's thigh and gave him a look that said, 'I'll handle this'.

Hotch tuned to the Principal and graced him with the famous Hotchner death glare, "Principal James, while I appreciate the difficulty of your job I do need to ask if the other girls are being punished as well or is our daughter being singled out for some reason?"

The Principal withered under the stare, "N..no…no sir, she's not, but she is the one who initiated physical contact…."

Hotch put up his hand, got out his wallet and showed the Principal his bar association card, "Now Principal James, please understand we see the repercussions of what happens to bullied children. Oft times they have a psychotic break and go on a rampage. Seventy-five percent of school shootings are caused because Teachers and Principals like yourself refuse to address the real issue, bullies. Now, if my daughter is being bullied and you refuse to do anything about it, just remember, not only am I a lawyer, but I'm the guy that will save your sorry ass when some kid tries to get their revenge sometime in the future".

Both Spencer and Sarah Jane smiled wide at Hotch. The bullies received the same punishment as Sarah Jane.


	33. Spencer

Aaron was pretending to be asleep on the plane. He didn't want to really talk to anyone at the moment because he just wanted to watch his lover. Spencer had fallen asleep reading and Aaron smiled as he thought about the years they've worked together.

If he was honest with himself he always had deeper feelings for Spencer than he let on. Even Haley had commented a few times when she had caught him watching the young man whenever the team was together outside of work. He never acted on those feelings, first he was married, guilt over Georgia, Gideon leaving, the pain of his divorce, Foyet's attack, Maeve, Beth all of these were excuses.

If he had really been honest with himself he'd loved Spencer Reid since he joined the team. It would have been unprofessional, or so he convinced himself, to act on those feelings. When he let Spencer take control almost 18 months ago he was secretly relieved. The decision was out of his hands but it had gone so wrong so quickly. His passion had consumed him, he hadn't found balance at first and it took him leaving for a short time to understand what was going on.

If he was truly honest with himself then he would have to admit that even Haley didn't compare to what he felt for the young genius. Spencer didn't demand what Aaron couldn't give. They gave each other space, but they never strayed far. Spencer understood Aaron's black moods and helped lift his feelings of guilt. He didn't shy away from the fights and he loved unconditionally. Sex was always adventurous and that put a smile on Aaron's face.

If Aaron was brutally honest with himself he had always been in love with Spencer Reid.


	34. Aaron

Spencer pretended to be asleep on the plane. He had wanted to sit back and read for a bit, but he half-closed his eyes and watched Aaron. He hadn't always been honest with himself about his feeling for Aaron. He knew in the beginning that he had been infatuated with his assigned TO. Spencer had always prided himself on how smart he was, but he quickly learned there was a difference between being intelligent and being smart.

Aaron saw everything, even things the team was trying to hide from him. Aaron always knew just how to push them, without being a total bully, because he demanded the best out of them.

Aaron was always proud of him, even when he made mistakes. Even in his darkest days Aaron was secretly there. Gideon hadn't known that Aaron had helped him through his addiction, though he acted as if he was letting Spencer alone. He knew that if it got out that Aaron knew they could've both lost their jobs. That was when Spencer realized just how much he loved Aaron. But, he never acted on those feelings because life got in the way, Gideon left, Foyet attacked, Aaron lost Haley, he lost Maeve and ultimately it was that, that brought them together. Their shared loss and the courage to finally tell each other how they felt.

Spencer watched his lover sleep and realized that what he felt for Maeve was nothing compared to the deep feelings of love, trust, understanding, respect and friendship he had with Aaron. Through black moods and nightmares Aaron was there to hold him or let him be. Spencer would always be grateful Aaron let him in the door that day and he got to tell someone that he loved them.


	35. Scars

Spencer had his head on Aaron's chest; his hand lazily made circles through the thick soft hairs and idly outlined the scars a psychopath had left.

Aaron's hand was carded through Spencer's hair, softly massaging his scalp, fingers combed through the soft curls. "Spencer," He said softly.

Spencer lifted his eyes to look at his lover, "Yes Aaron?"

Aaron had something important he wanted to tell Spencer, but he was having trouble putting it into words, "Thank you". He frowned slightly because it didn't quite fully convey what he was trying to say.

Spencer lifted up on his elbow and looked down into Aaron's face, "For what?" A smile ghosted over his lips.

"For acknowledging these," He grabbed Spencer's hand and placed it on one of the scars on his chest. Aaron was still sometimes shy about them, but Spencer unconsciously helped him come to terms with them.

"Aaron," Now Spencer didn't know what to say, he took deep breath before he spoke, "They are a part of you. If I ignore them, it means I ignore a big part of your life and I would never do that to you". He got up and straddled Aaron, slowly lowered his head and kissed all nine of the reminder's of Foyet's attack. Tears leaked from Aaron's eyes at the tender ministrations of his lover.

"Beth was always afraid to touch them, or acknowledge them," His eyes widened because he hadn't meant to mention his ex-girlfriend. "I'm sorry Spencer I didn't mean…."

"Shhh, Aaron she was a part of your life, it's okay to talk about her because I know it's me you want".

Aaron smiled and pulled Spencer back down so that the younger man's head was lying on his chest holding him tightly.

"Thank you Spencer, for seeing me".


	36. Fight

**A/N: **I glad everyone is loving this story, but I need word prompts guys. The more prompts I get, the more chapters you get, so come one think of some good words I can play off of.

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><p>"<em>Goddammit Reid, I said the next time you do something like this I would fire you". <em>Aaron was seething with anger because his youngest agent had yet again stepped in front of a young unsub who had been the victim of horrific abuse and bullying by his peers.

"_You're going to hold that over my head? That was seven fucking years ago Aaron. And, if you recall I wasn't alone this time. Morgan was also there, you going to yell at him too?" _ Spencer was angry because he wasn't as reckless as he was seven years ago. Seven years ago he was trying to put his life back together after addiction almost shattered it.

"_You put yourself in danger. Did you think at all Spencer? Did you think about our children?" _Hotch took a deep breath and tried to calm down, "Did you think about me?" His eyes were wet with unshed tears. When he saw Spencer step in front of the unsub to talk him down thoughts of Texas and how close Spencer came to dying flashed through his mind.

"Aaron," Spencer didn't have the words because he realized just how much he hurt Aaron, "You're right. I'm sorry, I didn't think. I just didn't want to see another dead kid. There have been too many of them on this case Hotch".

Aaron closed his eyes then looked up at Spencer, "I know Reid," A high school student had, had a psychotic break and killed 6 students who he saw as weak in less than two weeks.

"I couldn't let Martin kill that kid, he was so young, it made me think…"

"Made you think what Spencer?"

"It made me think of Jack".

It all made sense now, "Okay, but there won't be a third time".

Spencer smiled, "Understood".


	37. Begging

**A/N: **So sorry about that guys, there was a glitch and the wrong chapter got posted. Here is the correct chapter.

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><p>Spencer was straddled on Aaron's lap, hands on his shoulders, "Please Aaron…I've been a very good boy". Spencer quirked up his brow and had a wicked smile on his face.<p>

"Spencer, I don't know. You did go into a situation unarmed…again…doesn't make you a good boy in my eyes".

Spencer leaned down and kissed Aaron rather passionately, tongue sweeping along Aaron's mouth trying to encourage the older man to open up. He responded slowly giving in to Spencer's tender but passionate kisses. They broke apart after a minute.

"Well, I can be a very good boy now".

"I don't know, it's still something I have to think about," Aaron quirked up his mouth in a sly grin.

"What's there to think about, we just, you know do it…come on Aaron, it'll be fun and you know it". Spencer worked the buttons on Aaron's shirt to get it off him.

Aaron was finding it hard to keep his composure as Spencer was grinding seductively against him. He swallowed hard and his head fell back against the couch as Spencer ran his hands all over his exposed flesh.

"Spencer we have to think about Jack and Sarah..." Aaron's breath was shallow as he was trying to process just what it was that Spencer was doing to him.

Spencer lifted his head from Aaron's neck, where he had been licking and nipping at the soft flesh.

"Aaron, we can watch out for Jack and Sarah. Come on, please?" Spencer was begging with need.

"God, you're gorgeous when you beg…" Aaron grabbed Spencer's face in his hands and took his mouth in hard bruising kisses.

After a minute Spencer broke the kiss, "Does that mean yes?" he asked while palming Aaron's manhood through his pants.

"Fine, dammit, we'll get a PS4".


	38. Anniversary

Spencer woke-up to Aaron on top of him, kissing him, "Sorry, I just couldn't wait." And that was all it took. Spencer wrapped his arms around Aaron and he let himself be taken. Sometime later Aaron held Spencer close, not wanting to let the young genius go. "Happy Anniversay." He said smiling.

Spencer sat up with a huge smile on his face, "Happy Anniversary." He couldn't believe that they have been together for two years now.

Aaron sat up and reached into his nightstand and pulled out a small box. He looked at Spencer contemplating the question he wanted to ask. He looked at Spencer for what seemed like forever.

"Aaron, why do you keep staring at me like that?" He was getting nervous at the way his lover was looking at him.

Aaron cleared his throat, "Spencer," He was nervous but he plunged ahead, "I know I said the promises were enough, but Spence…" He closed his eyes as he tried to find the right words, "I want more. I know it scares you, but haven't we proven that this isn't a temporary thing? I won't make the same mistakes and I won't let you go as easily as I did Haley. I love you so much more than you could possibly imagine. I meant it when I said I will never leave you and I will always cherish what we have. Spencer, will you marry me?" He looked at his lover, his mate and hoped beyond hope

Spencer sat up and reached into his nightstand and pulled out a small box, "Seems you beat me to it Aaron." He smiled as he looked at the love of his life, "You are it for me so yes I will marry you. I'm yours always and forever."


	39. Deaperation

Spencer had part of his scarf stuffed in his mouth as he was backed up against the bathroom wall of the Cook County police station restroom. Long legs wrapped around Aaron's waist as the older man was buried deep inside his lover. He was riding the younger man hard and fast in a desperate attempt for release.

"God, Spencer…you were…just so… fucking… hot," Aaron said between hard, heated thrusts. His head was buried in Spencer's neck as he nipped and sucked at the sensitive skin behind Spencer's ear.

Aaron reached one hand down to Spencer's leaking cock and started to pump in rhythm to the thrusts. Spencer's head fell onto Aaron's shoulder as he came hard and hot over his lover's hand. Aaron felt the tight muscles clamp down on his dick and he rode out the orgasm as he spilled deep inside Spencer.

Aaron held them there for a minute, taking the scarf out of Spencer's mouth and replacing it with his own needy mouth. Tongues danced in a fight for dominance, tasting each other. Aaron pulled his head back and laid his forehead against Spencer, both panting after the hard and fast sex.

"So, Aaron?" Spencer asked between breaths.

"Yes?" Aaron was trying to get his breath back as well.

"Should I tell off racist, homophobic sheriffs more often?" He smiled brilliantly at Aaron, who couldn't help it, he took Spencer's mouth again, this time slower and steadier.

"Next time you do, warn me in advance, because then I think I could control myself better".

Aaron let his lover down and they cleaned-up as best they could.

As soon as they walked out of the locked bathroom Rossi said, "So, you two get that out of your system?" He walked away smiling as they both blushed deeply.


	40. Jealousy

The club was dimly lit and crowded and Aaron and Spencer didn't know how they got talked into going. The kids were at Jessica's for a sleepover so they had a rare night to themselves. Spencer was at the bar picking up their drinks, and in Aaron's mind taking way too long. He looked over to see a man flirting with Spencer. Aaron narrowed his eyes when he saw Spencer give the dark haired man a brilliant smile and then hug him.

"Seems you're boy over there made a friend," Morgan teased.

Aaron growled low in his throat at Morgan and the younger man backed off.

"Aaron, calm down you know Spencer wouldn't do anything to hurt you," Rossi said.

Aaron glared at his friend, surged out of the booth when he saw the dark haired man put his hands on Spencer, _his _Spencer. In the back of his mind he knew he was being irrational, but he just couldn't stop himself. He moved up behind his lover and grabbed him around the waist in a show of dominance towards the other man.

Spencer smiled as his hands wrapped around Aarons.

"You were taking too long," He whispered in his lover's ear.

Spencer turned in Aaron's arms and looked in his face seeing the dark expression.

"Aaron, are you…are you jealous?" Spencer looked at him with a quizzical expression.

Aaron frowned, "No, why do you say that?" He asked a little more forcefully than he intended.

Spencer smiled, "Oh I don't know, that dark look you're giving my old friend Ethan over here."

Aaron looked chargined, "Sorry." He held out his hand for the other man to take, "So, you're Ethan."

Ethan smiled a knowing smile, "Yes. And Spencer is worth being jealous over." He winked and walked away.


	41. Frozen

"_Let it go, let it go, can't hold it back anymore, let it go, let it go, turn away and slam the door,"_

"_JAYJE_" Reid and Aaron yelled at the pretty blonde at the same time.

"What?" she asked looking up at the two of them startled.

"Please, for the love of all that is holy, _stop singing that song_." Reid begged.

The team was on the plane heading to a new case. They had just finished going over all the details and each of them were sitting back and trying to relax. JJ had been flipping through a magazine and she was unconsciously singing the currently popular song.

"What's wrong pretty boy?" Morgan asked laughing at the young man.

"Oh let's see, JJ decided to give Sarah Jane the movie _Frozen_. We have been subjected to that movie, let's see, Hotch?" Reid knew, but he wanted to see if his partner remembered.

"57 times, that's what we're up to now. 57 times. Jack now runs from the living room screaming when she asks to watch it." Hotch glared at her, "I should hate you for this."

Kate looked between the three of them and busted out laughing, "Oh, well I had to endure countless views of _The Little Mermaid_ when Meg was in her Disney mode."

"Jessica wanted to put a hit out on you, thankfully we talked her down from it. You owe her something nice."

"Come on guys, it can't be that bad," She looked at the two men both glaring at her, "I guess it can." She said under her breath as she looked back down at her magazine and a small smile graced her lips.

"I could always bring her Beauty and the Beast," She said wickedly.

"NO," they both shout at the same time.


	42. Revelations

Spencer and Aaron were on a date at a nice quiet restaurant when he looked at Aaron pensively.

"Spencer, you okay?" Aaron asked with a tiny bit of worry in his voice.

"Two years and I've never actually asked you about," Spencer frowned, "Why you let me seduce you that day." Spencer blushed deeply. "I mean, I really…well a part of me thought you were going to hit me." He looked at his partner sheepishly.

"Yet you still were brave enough to try." Aaron smiled crookedly, "What are you trying to ask me Spence?" Aaron waited patiently.

"Well you always seemed straighter than straight. Am I-I mean was I your first?" Spencer took a drink of water to help his now dry throat, "You know, man?" Spencer asked nervously.

Aaron took a long time to answer. He'd always been pretty private but there'd always been something about Spencer that let him be more honest with him than he was with Dave.

"Honestly?" Spencer watched Aaron with apprehension, "No, you weren't my first male relationship. Haley and I had broken-up just before college. While I was there I had a couple of boyfriends." Aaron smiled at the memories, "When Haley and I got back together I told her everything. She was a little shocked." He picked up his wine and took a drink, "She was jealous of you."

Spencer's eyes widened, "What? You never told me that." Then horror filled his eyes, "I wasn't…I mean I didn't,"

Aaron grabbed Spencer's hand "No you weren't responsible for her leaving. It was the job, and she perceived my feelings for you, but none of that was your fault." He smiled wickedly, "Actually Haley was my first."

Spencer sputtered on his wine, "What?" Spencer looked wide-eyed at Aaron, "Oh," As realization dawned.


	43. Gone

_Several years in the future:_

Spencer sat in a chair next to the bed his husband, lover and best friend was lying in. He had fallen asleep reading. His pace had slowed down over the years as he learned how to enjoy the reading process more.

"Spencer," Aaron reached for his husband's hand, gripping it.

Spencer jolted awake, "Aaron, you're awake." He smiled.

"You have to promise me something." Aaron said in a raspy voice born of old age.

"What?" The younger man looked on with fear and trepidation.

"You have to promise me you'll let them take care of you. You have to promise you won't fade away." Aaron watched the play of emotions on Spencer's face.

"Aaron, I-I," Spencer started crying, this was the part he feared, the promises he knew Aaron was going to ask him.

"Don't cry love. You'll have them looking out for you. Wrap our children and grandchildren around you, don't fade away, please." Aaron let the tears fall. He wasn't afraid for himself anymore. He was losing the last fight with cancer and he resigned himself to his fate. It was his husband he was worried about.

"Okay, Aaron, I promise," He bent down and kissed him softly.

Later that night as Aaron slept and Spencer curled around him he silently passed. Spencer wasn't asleep and he felt it when the love of his life left this world behind. Spencer silently sobbed closing his eyes and holding Aaron for the last time.

When the doctor and nurses came rushing in a few minutes later they turned off the monitors and knew there was nothing more they could do for Aaron Hotchner. When they went to shake Spencer he didn't respond. The doctor couldn't revive him.

Sometimes there are promises you just can't keep.


	44. Broken

It was their worst fight ever. Luckily the children were with Jessica for the weekend. Words were said that could never be taken back. But Aaron was the one that delivered the deadly blow. He brought up Spencer's addiction.

Spencer stared at Aaron wide-eyed and stricken, "Aaron, how could you?" His breath was short, his heart was stuttering in his chest. No one moved for what seemed like forever.

"Spencer," Aaron realized what he said. He was frozen in place and he didn't know how to fix this.

Spencer grabbed his messenger bag and his keys and flew out the door.

Aaron started to go after him.

"Don't," Spencer told him. He drove off leaving Aaron staring after him.

Aaron found him at Garcia's curled up on the couch broken and crying.

"What did you do to my baby genius?" Garcia was angry at her boss.

"Let me talk to him Garcia, please?" He asked pleadingly.

"Okay, but you better not hurt him more than he already is." She gave her boss a Hotchner worthy glare.

"I'm going to try to fix this." He walked past her. She silently left so the two men could have some privacy.

"Spencer, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He got down on his knees next to the couch.

"That's not going to fix this." Spencer sat up staring hard at his lover.

"I know, I know but I love you and I was stupid. I'm so sorry. Please come home."

Spencer looked into Aaron's eyes and saw he was broken too.

"I'll come home, but Aaron,"

"Yes?"

"Something's broken between us and it's going to take a while to fix it."

Aaron closed his eyes and he let the tears escape.

"I'm not running away this time Spencer. We'll fix this, together."


	45. Tension

Aaron and Spencer were still reeling from their fight. They were both trying to get over the hurt words thrown at each other. Neither knew where it had come from which was the crux of the problem. But now, it was spilling into the case and it was Rossi who made the bold move to try to break the tension.

"What the hell is going on with you two?" The three of them were locked in the conference room alone.

"We had a fight, we both said things we shouldn't have and we're having a hard time getting past it." Aaron told Dave.

"Reid, you okay?" Rossi saw that Spencer was sitting on a table in the corner of the room hunched over a file.

"He threw," He looked up with such pain in his eyes that it broke Aaron's heart again, "My addiction in my face."

Rossi looked at Aaron "You're an idiot." The tension in the room was still there.

Aaron walked over, took Reid's face in his hands, "I'm so sorry Spencer. Nothing can make it up to you, but I am sorry." He bent down and kissed him softly, tenderly.

"What's worse is you haven't, you know, touched me, since." Reid stuttered out.

"I thought you wouldn't want me to, at least not yet."

Rossi was beginning to get uncomfortable around this conversation.

Reid uncurled his body and stood up, grabbed Aaron around the waist, "But I do want you to." His lips came crashing down on Aaron's in hot needy kisses.

"And that's my cue to leave. Do you two want to get a room?" Rossi smirked at the two of them.

They broke apart laughing at the senior profiler, "No, I think we'll be fine. Spencer?"

"Yes, we'll be just fine Aaron."


	46. Breathe

_ Breathe, _Reid thought after he came hard in Aaron's hand. Looking into the eyes of his fiancé and kissing him deeply and passionately.

_Breathe, _Reid thought after watching Aaron telling off an uncooperative detective. The thrill of his unit chief's arrogance going right to his core.

_Breathe, _Reid thought while watching Aaron on a run, the beauty of Aaron's ecstasy while enjoying the exercise was just sometimes too much and Reid forgot to breathe.

_Breathe_, Reid thought as he watched Aaron with their children, laughing with them, caring for them, cuddling with them and yes even disciplining them when needed. Nothing was sexier than watching Aaron loving the two precious beings.

_Breathe,_ Reid thought as he watched Aaron talking down a particularly violent unsub, trying to get in the other man's head and working him so that they wouldn't have to kill him.

_Breathe,_ Reid thought as they sat across from each other at a particularly romantic restaurant, watching Aaron sip wine and slowly enjoy the superbly delicious meal.

_Breathe, _Reid thought as he watched Aaron and Rossi in a debate over the different meanings of Sociopath vs Psychopath, Aaron's hands gesturing wildly making Reid's eyes go dark with lust thinking about what those hands could do.

_Breathe, _Reid thought as he watched Aaron comfort a victim, his compassion lacing every word.

_Breathe, _Reid thought as he watched his lover's face in the throes of passion as his eyes darkened, and his mouth opened just so in the moments before release.

_Breathe_, Reid thought as Aaron held him tight while they danced slowly together in their living room, jazz softly playing in the background and their arms wrapped around each other.

_Breathe, _Reid thought as he looked in Aaron's eyes and said, "I love you."


	47. Regrets

**A/N: **This is a double prompt, the word Regrets and a spring/summer theme with the reflections back on the relationship from MSwriter07 from A03. I hope I did both proud.

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><p>The Reid-Hotchner family was on a mini vacation, it was early spring and they were at a private cabin in the Allegheny mountain's taking a break from the city.<p>

Spencer and Aaron were sitting next to each other on a porch swing watching the children play near the water. Jack being careful not to let Sarah get too close.

"Aaron," Spencer looked softly at his partner, "Do you have any regrets, you know, about us?"

Aaron swayed gently as the warm breeze played against his skin, he looked at Spencer, the sun has been good for him. His hair lightened and his skin had a new warm glow to it. Aaron smiled as he watched the breeze catch Spencer's hair and gently blew it around the younger man's face.

"Only one Spencer," A bright smile crossed his face as he looked at the man who had become everything to him.

"What is it?" Spencer's brow furrowed in worry.

"That I didn't listen to my heart sooner. That I let too much time go by not telling you how I felt." He laced his fingers through Spencer's. "I wouldn't trade these last two years for anything, but I wish I'd had the courage to have even more memories." He raised their hands and kissed the back of Spencer's hand.

The sun glistened on the water gently and the children sat with their feet in the water, faces turned up to the sun with wide smiles. They both turned to look at their fathers waving their hands, brown skin glowing from both children.

Aaron smiled wide, he hadn't ever truly been this happy and it made him rethink, "No Spencer, in this moment I have no regrets." Spencer flashed his boyish smile and Aaron fell in love all over again.


	48. Wedding

It was a quiet affair, mostly just the team and their families or significant others. Jack was dressed handsomely in a tux and Sarah Jane was excited over her new outfit. Spencer and Aaron stood under a beautiful arch in the backyard of Rossi's mansion and said vows, exchanged rings and made promises to each other. When they were presented to their friends as Mr. and Dr. Reid-Hotchner there were smiles and cheers from everyone. No one begrudged them their happiness. God knows that if anyone deserved second chances at love it was the two men standing in front of them.

They sat at a table just for them and the children, and everyone came by throughout the evening to give them hugs and words of congratulations.

When it came time for the customary dance Spencer was nervous, but he'd been practicing and when Aaron took him in his arms he suddenly didn't care how he looked. He swayed with his partner to the slow romantic song as his head fell on Aaron's shoulder as Aaron held him tightly around the waist. They whispered words of love and kissed passionately as the mood overtook them.

Watching the two men sway with each other put tears in the eyes of some of their friends, the love that was shining through caught them all and their hearts stopped for just a moment. Everyone on the team secretly made a vow to always protect them so that they'd always come home to each other.

When the music stopped and they broke apart the spell wasn't broken as Aaron laid a hand on Spencer's cheek and said, "I love you Dr. Spencer Reid-Hotchner." His smile showing everything he was feeling in that moment.

"And I love you Mr. Aaron Reid-Hotchner." This was their forever.


	49. Blackout

**A/N: **This one was from a prompt form AO3. She wanted to see how Spencer would deal with a blackout and only the children to comfort him. Remember to leave me prompts. It could be words, a situation or something you'd like me to play off of. Thank you everyone who has favorited, viewed and reviewed.

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><p>Aaron was away on a custodial with Rossi. So it just happened that Spencer was alone with the children when the rain outside turned torrential and caused a blackout.<p>

"Damn, damn, damn not now," Spencer cried out, a little panic in his voice. He was on the couch with Sarah Jane, they had been cuddled up reading together.

"Papa, what's wrong?" The little girl asked.

"Nothing," Spencer's squeaked.

"Papa, are you okay? It's just dark Dad says there's nothing to be afraid of." Jack said from across the room where he'd been doing some homework.

"Um, yeah, yeah I know that," Spencer stiffened up at all the things that could go wrong in the dark.

Sarah Jane giggled, "Papa, are you afraid of the dark?" She asked with amusement in her voice.

He was about to lie and say no but Spencer couldn't do that, "Yes sweetheart, I am afraid of the dark."

"But nothing bad is going to happen Papa." She grabbed him around the waist, "Jack-Jack and I will protect you."

Spencer didn't want to tell his children that bad things actually did happen in the dark and that was where a lot of his fear came from. He knew all too well what could happen in the dark so when the phone rang and he squeaked, his heart rated jumped and he curled up tighter the kids just watched in amusement.

Jack grabbed the phone, "It's Dad, Papa." He handed Spencer the phone.

"Aaron, when are you coming home?" Spencer couldn't quite keep the fear out of his voice.

"Spence, are you okay?" Aaron asked apprehensively.

"Blackout," The children had gotten flashlights and cuddled with Spencer.

"You okay?" Aaron asked knowing Spencer's fear of the dark.

"I will be," He said as he held the children close.


	50. Prison

Kate was reflecting back on what happened back in the prison when she felt someone sit next to her. The team was flying back home and she had closed herself off, not wanting to talk.

"Did I ever tell you what happened in Georgia?" She turned to look at Reid. All eyes snapped up at the mention of Georgia and those that were there were surprised because he never talked about it.

"Um, no." Kate said confusion clearly written on her face.

Spencer proceeded to tell her everything and the tension in the plane was palpable. No one ever heard him tell the whole story to anyone and all except Rossi and Kate were on edge.

"Spencer," Her eyes showed the horror she felt at what the genius had gone through. "Why did you tell me this?"

He smiled sadly, "To let you know that I understand. I understand what it feels like to have someone else take control of your life and hold a weapon to your head and you feel like there is nothing you can do. You were held captive Kate and its terrifying. But, it will be the way that you handle it that will affect you the most."

She frowns deeply, "How did you handle it?"

"Not well. I kept it all inside and I did this to myself," He shows her the scars from his drug addiction. "You'll have nightmares, let someone help you." He takes her hand in his, "The point is, you're not alone. Talk to someone, cry, yell, let it out. Then and only then will you be able to move past it." She buries her head in his chest and silently cries.

Aaron looks at Spencer and he knows he will have some caring to do himself.


	51. Bag

I'm still taking prompts. It could be a word or a specific scenario. Leave them if you got them.

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><p>Spencer's messenger bag was often a mystery to most of the team. They knew he kept stuff that was important to him, but they never knew exactly what. One day he was in the conference room sitting on the table with his bag empty beside him and all the things spread out in front of him.<p>

Aaron walked in and was confused at what Spencer was doing.

"Spencer, what are you doing?" Aaron asked with amusement in his voice.

Spencer contemplated the items before him.

"You guys wonder what I carry in here. I know you've wanted to ask me." He looked at his husband with a smile on his face.

The rest of the team filtered in and watched in curiosity.

"The letter Gideon left me and his chess piece," He picked them up and put them off to the side.

"Alex's badge," He ran his hand over it smiling remembering how happy he was when she was with them.

"Henry's Spiderman, Jacks Superman and Sarah Jane's Adipose*," He held the toys to his chest.

"A bracelet from Elle," He looked fondly at the jewelry.

"A birthday card from my mom," He opened it and smiled.

"Maeve's book," He looked worriedly at Aaron, who just smiled at him.

"One of Garcia's troll dolls," He held it up giving her an impish smile.

"JJ's old press pass," He set it aside.

"Morgan's whistle," He laughed at the look on Morgan's face.

"The first Rossi book signing I ever went to," A brochure from an old event.

"The letter you gave me Aaron," It was a letter Aaron gave Spencer telling him all the things he felt from two years prior.

"These are what I carry with me all the time, to keep you guys with me all the time."

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><p><strong>AN : ***An adipose is from Doctor Who. It's a little fat creature that is just too damn cute. The episode was quite funny.


	52. Maeve

**A/N: ** Each member of the team reacts to what is in Spencer's bag. Here's Aaron's response.

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><p>"You still carry her book." Spencer's legs were on Aaron's lap and he was massaging his husband's bad knee. He had taken a bad fall on their last case and it was paining Spencer.<p>

"Yes," Spencer looked down at his hands lost in thought, "Does it bother you?" He asked in almost a whispered voice.

"No, no it doesn't. You loved her Spencer I would never take that away from you." Aaron could see that something was bothering Spencer but he didn't push. "If you need to talk about it Spence I'll always listen."

"Today's the third anniversary," Spencer closed his eyes and laid his head back on the couch. He loved Aaron more than anything but it didn't diminish what he felt for Maeve. He tried not to cry because he didn't know how Aaron would take it.

Aaron could see the struggle on the younger man's face, "Spencer I love you so much more than I could ever tell you, but I know you loved her. I know it was different and unconventional but it doesn't mean the feelings weren't, aren't real. I think you will always love her." He reached over and cupped Spencer's cheek letting him know it was okay.

"Do you," Spencer frowned not sure if he wanted to hear the answer but he asked it anyway, "Do you still love Haley?" For some reason Spencer was apprehensive about the answer.

"I won't lie Spence, yes I still love Haley. I think a part of me always will. It doesn't mean I don't love you I hope you know that."

Spencer smiled sadly, "Yes Aaron I know that. I don't know why it's hit me so hard." His frown deepened as he tried to make sense of his feelings.

"Because you never want to forget her."


	53. Mine

**A/N: **Word prompt from JuliaBC, thank you hope you like it.

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><p>Spencer was asleep and Aaron was awake watching him. Spencer's face was relaxed for once in sleep his boyish features stood out even more. Aaron ached to run his fingers through Spencer's hair but he didn't want to wake him. It was so rare that either of them got a full night's sleep that he didn't want to ruin it for Spencer. When the sheet moved and much of Spencer's body was revealed to him Aaron's breath was taken from him in that moment. His hands ghosted over the milky white skin, but he didn't touch though he really wanted to.<p>

Aaron's eyes lingered on the bruises and bite marks he had left from the night before. He was always taken aback at just how passionate his husband was which in turn loosened up his own inhibitions. He'd never felt such passion with anyone, not even Haley. He had to admit, even if it was only to himself but his life with Haley was pretty vanilla. Sometimes, like now, he speculated on how different his life might have been if he had met someone like Spencer first. She had never wanted him to leave marks and he often had to hold back. He wondered if that was one reason he pulled away from her. He was never allowed to bruise her or mark her in anyway and it frustrated him at times. But he loved her enough to hold back, at least in the early years of their marriage.

Spencer woke to see Aaron staring at him and he smiled sleepily, "What are you thinking?"

"About you," Aaron finally touched his hair.

"And what about me?" He playfully asked.

"That you'll always be mine." He said as he took possession of Spencer's mouth and body, and Spencer let him.


	54. Prejudice

Rossi could tell that Spencer and Aaron were still angry over their last case. The unsub had been targeting homosexual couples and the Bellevue, Nebraska police didn't help the situation. Only a few on the force acted like they cared. The rampant homophobia put the couple on edge, though they stayed professional.

"Are you guys alright?" Rossi asked as he sat down.

Spencer and Aaron linked hands and sighed deeply, "We will be." Aaron told his friend.

"You know that it doesn't matter to any of us, right? We see how happy both of you are. My god if anyone deserves to be happy it's you two." Rossi looked at them with compassion and understanding.

Morgan came and sat beside the older man, "Hey don't let what happened back there get to you. For those that matter we're here for you." He reached across the table and put his hand over theirs in a show of support.

"I just don't understand, I never have" Spencer said quietly. He leaned over and put his head on Aaron's shoulder.

"Neither do I. It shouldn't matter who you love but for some reason there are those that hate anything that's different." He looked pointedly at Aaron knowing how hard he worked to keep his temper in check.

Aaron sighed deeply, "Thank you Dave, it ah, it means a lot from all of you." The glare was in place but there was no heat behind it. Everyone knew he was trying to keep his emotions in check.

All of a sudden JJ starts singing, "And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,"

Then Morgan and Kate, "Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake."

"Taylor Swift, really guys?" Aaron laughs.

"Made you smile," JJ smiles wide at her two favorite people.


	55. Alone

Aaron was rarely alone so when Spencer decided to take the kids to the science museum he declined to go. He said that it would be nice to have a few hours alone and Spencer understood. So Spencer bundled the kids up, herded them out the door and left Aaron to his own devices.

Aaron tried to concentrate on some paperwork but he couldn't. He made himself a light breakfast ate it while reading the paper, cleaned up and just stood there. The silence should have been comforting. Should have made him feel at peace, let him breathe, but it didn't. He felt the silence was deafening.

He put on the game and tried to watch but couldn't. He then put on a movie but had a hard time concentrating. He grabbed a book off the shelf and tried to read, but couldn't. He went out to the garage and started puttering around working on some forgotten projects, but gave up halfway through all of them. The yard was tidy from the previous weekend so he couldn't do that. The house was clean, he and Spencer tried to keep it that way every day. He was feeling out of sorts.

He grabbed his keys and a book and drove to their favorite coffee shop, got a cup and sat down in the corner with the book but just sat and stared at it. Then he took a walk, window shopping but that interested him even less than everything else.

He picked up some lunch and made his way back home. Once inside he ate almost mechanically.

When the door opened and his family walked in he smiled wide.

"What's that look for," Spencer asked.

"I find I don't like being alone." He said as he kissed his husband.


	56. Children

Aaron and Spencer were sitting in the backyard relaxing watching their kids play with friends. Spencer had a smile on his face and he started chuckling.

Aaron looked over at his husband with raised brows, "What is so funny?"

"The Reid-effect," He looks over at Aaron and chuckles again. "I think it's pretty much broken." He says as one of the kids runs over to the two men, unafraid of either of them.

"Do you want to play chess Mr. Spencer?" The little girl named Britt asked enthusiastically.

"Sure, you know where the board is," He smiles after her.

"Spencer I think it was pretty much broken when JJ put Henry in your arms. Then of course there's Jack." Aaron smiled wide.

"I know it's just funny that I was so afraid of children, especially when I first started. Gideon," His conversation stopped for a moment as he thought about his old mentor, "He ah, he always tried to get me over it." He said quietly as he got up and went over to the chessboard being set-up by Britt.

Aaron closed his eyes for a moment and wondered if Spencer would always feel this sadness when it came to Gideon. He supposed it was better than his anger.

Aaron watched as Spencer patiently showed Britt some new chess moves. She was quite the fast learner and in no time she was thinking several moves ahead. It reminded Aaron of how Gideon was with Spencer in the beginning, and he wondered, not for the first time, where it all went wrong.

After a few minutes all the children had surrounded Spencer and he was smiling again, letting them touch him. When he looked back at Aaron the smile on his face made Aaron fall in love all over again.


	57. Blood

**A/N: **This was supposed to be posted before Recovery. So sorry about that.

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><p>"MORGAN," Yelled Aaron as he held the wound on Spencer closed, "<em>I need help<em>."

Morgan ran over to see that Aaron was trying to staunch the flow of blood. "We got Terrance Michaels." Morgan told him as he dropped next to Spencer.

"Where are the EMT's" Hotch yelled angrily. There was so much blood and Aaron was having trouble keeping it together.

"Sir, you have to let go," An EMT next to him said quietly.

Aaron didn't move, he was paralyzed, "Sir, if you want us to help him you have to let go." Aaron looked up at the EMT, tears were streaming down his face. THe tech laid a gentle hand on his shoulder as another placed his hands on top of Aarons.

"On three, let go," The tech said gently. Aaron did as he was told and as he fell to the side Morgan was there to catch him.

"Can you tell me what happened?" The tech asked, but all Aaron could see was the blood on his hands. Spencer's blood, it was pooling, staining the ring on his left hand.

"The suspect was lying in wait when Dr. Reid got to the side of the house, he jumped out and stabbed slicing through his vest," Morgan told the tech.

Later at the hospital Aaron kept looking at his hands. They were clean but all he kept seeing was Spencer's blood.

"Aaron," His head shot up at the gruff voice, "I messed up." Spencer joked, trying to smile at his husband.

Aaron shot out of the chair and kissed him, "You scared me."

"Sorry." Spencer raised a hand and laid it on Aaron's cheek.

"I love you," Aaron's voice was full of his fear. Spencer fell back to sleep and Aaron went and washed his hands yet again.


	58. Recovery

"Aaron stop hovering," Spencer was getting frustrated with his husband. He had been home for a week from the hospital and Aaron kept hovering. He had taken some time off to help Spencer while he healed.

"I know, I'm sorry," Memories and fears had surfaced. He knew he was overcompensating and knew how independent Spencer could be when hurt or sick.

Spencer heard that little something in Aaron's voice that let him know just how scared Aaron was. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap. I know how afraid you were and I know you just want to take care of me." He sighed as he laid his head back on the couch.

"It's okay," Aaron ran his fingers through Spencer's hair and bent to kiss him. Just then the door opened and Jack and Sarah Jane were home from school. Jack ran up and carefully hugged Spencer before running into his room. Sarah Jane however hovered near. She had been scared that her Papa wasn't coming back.

Spencer looked up and saw her standing there, "Come here sweetie," He held out his arms and she tentatively went to him. "Sweetheart are you okay?" Spencer asked his daughter.

"I was so scared Papa. When Daddy said you were hurt," She leaned in and cried. Spencer pulled her close and held her tight.

"I'm so sorry Sarah Jane. I never want to make you sad." He kissed the top of her head.

"Don't leave me Papa," She held on tight as she cried harder.

"I'm not going to leave you, I promise." He closed his eyes hoping that he could keep that promise.

Aaron sat on the other side of Sarah Jane and sat close to her, "Honey I will always protect you're Papa." He grabbed Spencer's hand and held on.


	59. Shame

**A/N: **I messed up with the posting order. You guys should read Blood, Recovery then Shame. They all go together.

* * *

><p>Spencer's recovery was taking longer than he thought. Part of the problem was the pain, he was only on high dose Motrin. There was something he hadn't told Aaron and he felt a slight shame. The hospital had screwed up when he first came out of the anesthesia. They gave him a morphine drip.<p>

The Doctor hadn't gotten his records quickly enough and Aaron wasn't in the room when it happened. When Spencer figured it out he yelled at the Doctor and they quickly changed his medication, but he didn't tell Aaron. He knew his husband would yell at the whole staff and not just the doctor. Unfortunately this posed a problem. Spencer's craving for dilauded was just there on the edge of his pain. He hadn't called his sponsor and he knew he should.

Aaron came home early because he was worried about Spencer. When he didn't see him in the living room he went to see if his husband was resting. Aaron found him on their bed shaking and crying. Aaron immediately worried.

Aaron shed his coat, tie and shoes and laid down next to Spencer and carefully wrapped his arms around the younger man.

"Tell me," was all he said as he stroked Spencer's hair.

Spencer finally told Aaron, he couldn't keep it in anymore, "They gave me a morphine drip," He curled into himself as shame filled his voice, "I'm having trouble Aaron." He cried harder.

Aaron closed his eyes cursing the hospital. "Spencer, it wasn't your fault. We'll get through this." He held on tighter.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Spencer turned and buried his head in Aaron's chest.

"It's not your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm here I'll always be here." He kissed his husband softly and held him tight.


	60. Family

Spencer was back at work and everyone was hovering. He knew Aaron wasn't the only one who had been afraid. When he saw the tin of cookies he smiled and knew they were from Garcia. The coffee from his favorite shop was from Morgan, the robot construction kit was from Kate, the dinner reservations were from Rossi and the book was from JJ.

Spencer smiled as he sat down at his desk.

"Guys really, I'm fine," He started to say.

"Reid, indulge us, okay?" Kate smiled as she looked at Spencer. "We were all worried, for both of you." A bit of sadness crossed her eyes as she thought of her sister.

"Henry cried all night, he thought…" JJ didn't want to finish her statement because it broke her heart to think of what might have happened to her little brother.

"Jayje," He said softly as he walked to her, bent down and gave her a hug. "I love you," He whispered in her ear.

She pulled back and smiled, their friendship repairing that much more, "I love you to Spencer. Don't scare me like that again." She grabbed his hand and held it.

He sat back down and started to work on his stack of consults. He was deep in concentration when a coffee mug was put in front of him.

"How's the first day back?" Aaron asked with a softer than normal expression.

"Everyone keeps hovering. I know they care but," He looked up at Aaron, "They're hovering. Almost as bad as you," He chuckled.

"They were scared, almost as much as I was." Aaron frowned to school his emotions.

"I know," Spencer smiled softly, "I guess it's what families do." He looked over at Kate and JJ and graced them with one of his boyish smiles.


	61. Suspension

Aaron and Spencer picked Jack up from school, from the principal's office no less. He'd been suspended for three days for fighting. When they were in the office Jack wouldn't tell the principal what the fight was about.

Jack went to his room and for the time being Aaron and Spencer let him be. After dinner Aaron went in and sat next to his son on his bed, "Buddy, you want to tell me now what you were fighting about?" Aaron's voice was gentle as he tried to coax the truth out of his son.

"They were making fun of you and Papa," Jack said sadly. He had his head down and his hands were twisting together.

Aaron sighed, he had wondered if something like this might happen, "Jack, we haven't really talked much about this with you have we?"

Jack looked at his father, "You didn't have to. You're happy Dad, happier than you've been in a long-time. Papa's good for you. I just got so mad, they don't understand." Fire flashed in his son's eye and Aaron was secretly proud that Jack stood up for them.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" Aaron worried often that his time away hurt his children, but Jack seemed to take it in stride.

"I know Dad." He leans over and hugs his father tightly, "I love our family just like it is. I just wish the kids weren't so mean." He sighed as he laid his head again Aaron.

"Jack, there will always be mean people, but it's how you handle it that shows who you are."

"So I should be more like Papa and talk them down?" Jack looks up at his father.

"We should all strive for that Jack he's pretty good at it."


	62. Darkness

Aaron stood holding a gun on the unsub. His thoughts twisting and swirling inside, _another monster who hurt children, why can't I just kill him? What would that make me? Would I become one of them if I did? How do I keep Jack and Sarah safe knowing what's out there. _

These thoughts always entered his mind when the person they were looking for went after children. The temptation was there to just end their life. Aaron was always wrecked after these types of cases and today would be no different. Finally Morgan was able to take the suspect down and Aaron slowly put his gun away and regrets that he couldn't do what he really wanted already entered his mind. He stalked off and the team, well most anyway, knew not to approach him.

"What do you need?" Spencer had cornered him.

"I don't know," Aaron said gruffly almost angrily as he stalked off so Spencer let him be for now.

They were back at the hotel and when on cases the married couple often got separate rooms. They both considered it unprofessional to be together on a case, except for times like this. Spencer expected him and when Aaron knocked he was prepared.

Aaron often was frantic, demanding and sometimes would cause pain. Spencer took it, took it all and relished the bruises and the bite marks. He reveled in the fact that Aaron came to him to release the pain and torment these cases always marked him with. He let Aaron indulge his darkness, harness it then purge it and hours later when they lay sweaty in a tangle of limbs Aaron would desperately cling to Spencer and cry.

Each time he thinks he'll give in let the bullet fly and damn the consequences.


End file.
